You're Dying For Snow - "Snow Bunnies" and "Pasta and Lobster"

By Joan

Remember when men of all races, ethnicities and ages came together to refer to black women as UK beasts. In particular dark-skinned black women. For those unaware of what a UK beast is, according to TikTok, a UK beast is a woman who acts masculine, has an attitude, is rude etc. But why is it, that you could find men calling any dark-skinned black girl a UK beast, even if she was lip-syncing to a pop song or if she was dancing or even just telling a story? Tell me, what part of that was masculine, rude or disrespectful?

And with the rise of the UK beast comments, there was also a rise in men, particularly black men coming out and saying they prefer dating white women. Some of the common sayings you could see on the app included, “If it ain’t snowing, I ain't going”, “snow bunnies on top” or “Snow bunnies do it better”. Snow bunnies being the term they used to refer to white women.

Quick side note, since when did we all use the phrase snow bunnies like it was a good thing. Last time I checked a snow bunny was a white woman who fetishes black men and I thought we all agreed that fetishes were a bad thing. And now you have white women referring to themselves as

snow bunnies like it's something you should be proud of. You can be a white woman who likes black men and not be a snow bunny but now every white woman who likes a black man is a snow bunny. Makes no sense whatsoever.

Anyway, I digress.

Now, I’m not saying there’s something wrong with interracial relationships, but your relationship shouldn’t be interracial because you hate the race that you belong to. Nor do I have an issue with interracial relationships, and you will find that many black women like me do not have issues with interracial relationships. But what I do have an issue with is why you’re in an interracial relationship. Ask two black men who are dating non-black women why they are with their girlfriends, and you’ll hear two different responses:

Black man A will say, he’s dating his girlfriend because he likes her personality and will list qualities he likes about her.

Black man B, he’ll say because I dislike black women, because black women are loud, because black women are ghetto, they have attitudes and other harmful negative, stereotypes about black women.

And it seems to be in this day and age most black men in interracial relationships hold the views of black man B. Now, it’s important to acknowledge it isn’t only black men who hold these negative views about black women, in particular dark-skinned black women, you will find men of all colours who hold these horrible views about black women but this article is about interracial relationships in the black community so we will be speaking about black men. And also, I do know it’s not every black man who hates black women, but I don’t believe it’s the majority.

I’ve always found it funny how black men can hate these qualities that supposedly ‘all’ black women have as they seem to love it in non-black women. They love it when Latinas are sassy and have attitudes, it's so sexy but when a black girl has an attitude, it’s disrespectful and makes them masculine. They love it when white women know the lyrics to all their favourite rap songs, she’s spicy. However, God forbid a black woman knows the same lyrics because that makes her ghetto, why is she trying to act like a roadman? It’s almost like black men want to date women with black qualities but not an actual black woman.

I wonder when the hatred starts for a black man, do they look at their black mother and despise the women who worked hard to raise them? Or do they look in the mirror and hate the colour of their skin so much, they try and find validation from anyone else but black women? Hypothetical question.

What I find interesting though is how black men get so angry when black women say black men should date black women. Black men always respond by saying ‘black women are just jealous of white women’, ‘black women hate black men’, ‘black women are just salty’. Yet, I believe black women are valid and are allowed to hold this view.

Please tell me, what is harmful about saying black men should date black women? Arab men say all the time they only want to date Arab girls. White men describe their types as blonde or brunette. So what is wrong with black women essentially saying the same thing? What is wrong with black women wanting to date and be with a black man?

Growing up, black women were socialised to believe that they were the ugliest in the classroom, in the playground, in the local area because they’re black; because they have dark skin; because they have thick, kinky hair, because they have black features like big noses and big lips. I guarantee you 99% of black women have an experience of being rejected because of the colour of their skin, in fact, most black girls are worried when they develop a crush on a boy, the boy won’t like them because they’re black. Arguably, in a black woman’s mind, if most men don’t like them because they’re black surely black men won’t mind since they share the colour of their skin in common?

Furthermore, black women have stood and supported black men through so many years, through racial injustices and discrimination. Black women have always stood at the front to uplift black men and how do black men repay us? By calling us ugly and saying we’re less than our non-black female counterparts.

Although, I’ve held some very strong points about black men and their behaviour, towards interracial relationships, I do have counter arguments towards black women fetishising over white men. All I hear these days are ‘Pasta and lobster’. Let me tell you one thing, a white man is not going to treat you any better than a black man. If you want to date a white man, date a white man because you like who he is as a person not just because he’s white and he gives you attention. A white man dating you will not give you the validation you crave; if he does then this is a topic on its own.

The message to take from all of this is don’t date someone because of the colour of their race. Don’t refuse to date someone because of the colour of their race. Stop thinking about race. Race doesn’t make a person more attractive, being white doesn’t make you more attractive than a black person, and being black doesn’t make you more attractive than someone who is brown. There are attractive people of all races. To say that one race is ‘uglier’ than another is a racist and discriminatory view to hold . My message to black men is to stop putting black women down and start uplifting them because black women have been at your side for centuries and consistently feel out of place, for their race and gender.